When Your Heart Breaks, but You Keep Moving Forward

Trigger Warning: This post discusses pregnancy loss and miscarriage, which may be distressing to some readers.

Some moments in life are so profoundly unexpected that they change everything in an instant. For me, that moment came during what I thought would be a routine 10-minute doctor’s appointment. At 18 weeks pregnant, I was excitedly anticipating our upcoming anatomy scan, a milestone where I’d finally see more detailed images of my baby boy. Instead, I was met with news that shattered my world: there was no heartbeat.

I was alone in the room when the words were spoken. My pregnancy had been progressing without complication, no signs, no history that could have prepared me for this. In one brief, devastating moment, the dreams I had for my baby were replaced with an overwhelming wave of grief and disbelief.

The Weight of Loss

Experiencing a miscarriage at any stage is heartbreaking, but losing a baby at 18 weeks comes with its own unique pain. At this stage, you’ve already begun to imagine their future, to feel them move, to think of names, and to plan for their arrival. It’s not just the loss of a pregnancy—it’s the loss of a life you were already loving.

The days that followed felt surreal. My body still carried the physical reminders of my baby, but my heart was heavy with emptiness. I was navigating the practical realities of what needed to happen next while also trying to process the emotional toll of losing someone I had never met but loved deeply.

Finding the Strength to Move Forward

Grief is not a linear journey. In the early days, it felt like waves crashing over me, pulling me under without warning. But over time, I began to find small moments of clarity and strength. I leaned into my support system, my husband, my family, and my friends, and allowed myself to feel the emotions rather than push them away. It was messy, and it was hard, but it was real.

One of the most difficult parts of healing was permitting myself to grieve in my own way. There were days I needed to cry, days I needed to talk, and days I just needed to sit quietly with my thoughts. Society often doesn’t provide much space for women to process pregnancy loss openly, but I am finding that speaking about it can be a powerful way to break the silence.

What Helped Me Work Towards Healing

• Journaling: Writing down my thoughts, feelings, and memories of my pregnancy helped me process the loss. It was a private space where I could express my grief without judgment.
• Therapy: Starting therapy gave me tools to cope with my emotions and helped me navigate the complex feelings that come with loss.
• Connecting with Others: Reading stories from other women who had experienced miscarriage reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Their vulnerability gave me hope that healing was possible.
• Honoring My Baby: Finding ways to honor my baby’s memory has been a vital part of my healing. Whether it’s lighting a candle, saying his name, or creating a small keepsake, these acts help me feel connected to him.

Moving Forward with Hope

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or moving on. It means finding a way to carry the love and memory of my son with me while continuing to live my life. It’s about allowing myself to feel joy again, to dream again, and to embrace the possibility of the future while honoring the past.

If you’ve experienced a miscarriage, know that your grief is valid, and your journey to healing is uniquely yours. It’s okay to take it one day at a time. Give yourself grace, and know that even when your heart feels broken, you can find the strength to keep moving forward.